Like a man possessed
by Queenofthehours
Summary: First ever fic. Preseries. Dean always keeps everything inside, never shows a sign of weakness. But he has to let it out sometime, even if noone’s there to see it, and he does it in the only way he knows how. Reposted due to error.


Disclaimer: Oh if I owned Dean Winchester . . . this fic would never have gotten written.

A/N: This is my first EVER fanfic and I'm very nervous, so feedback would be received and replied to very happily. I'm rather surprised at how dark this has come out, so hopefully there will happier pieces in the future!

BETA NEEDED. (I'm also willing to return the favour) Please contact me through my profile

Like a man possessed

The Heavens seemed to tear themselves apart as Dean Winchester tried to escape himself in the heart of a wild forest, half an hour from the run-down motel where the two most important people in his life were laying in a fitful sleep.

He slammed his fist against the rock.

The rock was a huge, towering formation, standing at the very centre of the woods. In the midst of the storm which raged all around, it appeared like an angry warrior, furious at the whole world as it watched its home get ripped apart.

He slammed his fist against the rock again.

_Deal with it. _

_This is who I am._

_Murderer, Outlaw, Nobody, Hunter._

_This is who I will always be._

_I'm gonna die this way_

_Deal with it!_

Slam.

Rain hurtled towards the Earth in a downpour so dense it looked like a solid shining object, distorting everything through its watery haze . Each droplet stopped its doomed descent for a millisecond to hover in front of Dean's eyes, allowing him to glimpse the creature he was becoming in his haunted reflection.

Slam.

_This is my life now._

_I'll never be _normal _like_ _Sammy craves_

_I've seen things people couldn't even dream of – couldn't even have nightmares of_

_I'm a hunter._

_A killer_

_Deal with it!_

Slam. Slam.

Lightening cleaved a path, and thunder resonated through the sky. Parents closed the curtains and tucked their children into bed with soothing words and gentle caresses. The eldest of the Winchester sons stood alone, in clothes saturated with rain, mud, sweat and blood, all bleeding into each other, leaving trails of his sins across his shredded skin.

Slam.

_I'm trapped with myself_

_Living for other people _

_Hidden under my mask_

_Does Dad even realise that I'm broken?_

_Probably not_

_Deal with it_

Slam. Slam. Slam. Slam. Each punch more frantic than the last as he punctuated each word within his head with a desperate blow against the rock. Slam. Skin broke across bone, and the hits just kept getting harder, and faster. Slam. Slam. The tempest surged unnoticed. Slam. Slam. Burning tears fell down his face, drowned in Mother Nature's own. Slam. Slam. Slam. Slam. His frenzied attack increased to the point that his ferocious power rivalled that of the ancient one which enveloped him, until his body finally betrayed him and he collapsed against the wall of stone in front of him, his body hitting the rock with a sickening thud.

_It's not their fault_

_They have enough to worry about themselves_

_Dad needs revenge_

_He'll die to get it_

_I have to protect them_

_Protect Sammy_

_Sammy_

He leant gratefully against the pillar of strength in front of him, unmarred by his earlier assault - forever, watching over its kingdom.

_God, Sammy_

_I need to look after him_

_Need to save him_

He pressed his forehead against the smooth stone, forcing raindrops to find new paths around the joining.

_Sammy_

_I can be strong_

_I can pull the pieces of me back together_

_I will_

_For Sammy_

With a strength that should have been impossible after his earlier self-destruction, he dragged his sodden and battered body into standing position. As if only now seeing his surroundings, he took in the devastation around him, the broken landscape still dancing in the now receding winds. He gazed upwards through the mist of rain that still remained, watching the immense darkness of the thundercloud in the distance, moving to loom over another town, or person, somewhere.

Daylight was breaking reluctantly over the horizon, and with a deep sigh that reached his soul, Dean began making the arduous journey back to his not-home, working out how he was going to tell Dad that he'd dropped out of high school.


End file.
